Heaven. I want to go there - really.

Heaven. I want to go there. I teach my kids about it, I sing about it, I anticipate it. But to be honest, I'm also a little confounded by it, scared even.

Granted, my heavenly concepts are limited - and that's what I'm banking on. Because sometimes the thought of worshipping for an eternity gives me pause - and not the good kind. I get this flashback of the longest, boring-est, most agonizing church service I ever sat through and I imagine an eternity of that. Of choir robes, harps, whispered voices, singing (even though I love to sing, you can't do it 24/7 for an eternity, right?)

I don't honestly think it will be like that worst-ever church service, but the problem is that I have no idea what it will be like. And even with the promise of everlasting peace and joy, that's a little scary.

Will some of the things I enjoy now be there? Reading a book under a shady tree. Going down the slip and slide with my kids. Making a snowman. Telling bedtime stories. If not, what will take the place of those things? What will happen to the human relationships I have now? Especially my most cherished ones - with my children? God's imagination is much greater than mine - so it's probably going to be great, I just can't picture it.

I think, as humans, we're conditioned to want to work toward something, a goal, a dream, a milestone, etc. Will there be those things in eternity? How will we measure our growth - spiritual, emotional, and physical?

My Adventist ancestors would probably be rolling over in their graves if they could read this....this expression of what some may construe as doubt.

I don't doubt there's a heaven, I don't doubt I want to be there, and I don't doubt it will be different (better) than I imagine. I'm just not pretending I know all the answers or that an eternity I can't quite imagine isn't a little scary.

The No Waiting Celebration

It's Good Friday and I'm thinking about waiting. As Christians around the globe celebrate a risen Savior, often-heard phrases are "waiting for His soon return" or "awaiting the risen Savior". Well I don't want to wait. Waiting is wasted time. Waiting makes people cranky. Have you ever known anyone who likes to wait? When you look around the doctor's office waiting room - do people look happy? or in line at the grocery store, or at the bus stop/train station? No, most people are looking at their watches, impatiently shifting around. Sometimes if the wait is too long, complaints might be made and voices raised.

No, I don't want to just "wait." The wait for Christ's return has been longer than anyone could have imagined. We don't know how long we'll be waiting. We can hope it won't be much longer, but we don't know. And I for one don't want to spend that time being cranky and impatient. I'd rather be serving, singing, praising, anticipating, sharing until Christ's return.

I'll be honest - sometimes doubting creeps in there - but mainly when the focus is on the waiting. If the focus is on the waiting and it seems to be taking too long - that's when the doubting happens. Complaining is a companion of doubting. [This is true of almost anything in life]. No one on this earth is perfect - so I've been a doubter, complainer, cranky-pants in the past - and I'm sure I'll have moments of that in the future, too. We all do (or at least most of us). But with God's help, I want to spend most of my time until Christ's return doing, giving, loving, sharing, enjoying, praising, singing, hoping, and anticipating. See you there.